Hardest Question

A couple weeks ago at Happy Child, there were some kids that showed up all in matching blue dresses. We found out, after meeting the man that they were with, that they were orphans whose parents had died of AIDS. The man was Pastor Christopher, and he houses and feeds about 40 orphans in Kampala. Every sunday, they travel to a different church to sing for the congregation, to raise funds for living expenses. And they just happened to be at the church where we hold Happy Child. Anyway, he invited us to go and visit the orphanage and just talk to the kids. All of our projects are winding down, and we've had a little freetime, so all the girls decided to go up to Kampala and visit them. I've only been to one other orphanage in Uganda, but all I have to say is that kids in orphanages are probably some of the most heart-melting children you will ever meet. They love any sort of human contact, they run up to you, hold your hand, hug you, want you to pick them up and hold them. Its rather heart-wrenching.

We got to the orphanage, and met with Pastor Christopher in the house. He proceeded to tell us his story. How during the bush war, his parents dug their own graves and were killed in front of him and his brother. They became street children for 4 years, and one day upon visiting a church, were adopted by a man who had no wife or children. They both went to school, and he became a teacher and a pastor, and his brother became a journalist. He had made a promise to God, while he was a street child, that if he could get an education, he would serve children all his life. He opened up his orphanage, where he, his wife, his children, and 40 other orphans live in one compound. If I could pick only one of HELP International's local contacts, who represented the most devoted to community development, it would be Pastor Christopher. He really loves these kids. And he gives them his all. Its not like he goes and lives in a nice house while taking care of the orphanage... He LIVES at the orphanage with the kids. It's pretty incredible. And the kids are amazing. They love each other, and get along with each other... They have clearly been raised well. The kids came in and each stood up and said their name, their age, and what they wanted to be when they grew up (it sounded very recited and practiced haha). Then they sang a few songs for us... And we talked to them about self-confidence, and doing your best, and being kind to others. Then I thought it might be cool if we let them ask us questions. They loved that... Most questions were 'how old are you' or 'what are you studying' 'what games do you like' or 'can we be friends?' there were a couple weird ones... like 'do any of you have a child?' whoops. haha. But there was one boy who stood in the back. He was really quiet, and looked a little older than the other kids. Mostly he just kind of looked sad. He raised his hand, I gestured to him, and then he looked at me, his eyes still sad, and said, "Do you have your parents?"

Of all the hard things that I've had to do in Uganda this summer, answering that question was the most difficult. I honestly didn't know what to say. I'm not sure how long my pause was, as we just looked at each other, but it felt like hours. Eventually I cautiously said, "yes." He nodded and just bent his head, looking down at his feet. I then proceeded to un-tactfully bawl my eyes out. I felt guilty. I know that I didn't need to- it wasn't my fault that his parents were dead. And I don't know why he asked the question. All I really know is that I understand so much less than I think I do. Being here the last 6 weeks has taught me absolutely nothing in the grand sphere of all existing knowledge, yet it has taught me everything, compared to what I knew before. I feel like sometimes I'm just wandering aimlessly in the world with no purpose or passion, but coming here makes me want to fight for something, and I know what I want to fight for. I won't ever forget the way he looked at me when he asked me that question.