January 16, 2013
I watched Star Trek for the first time, and subsequently had bizarro dreams about outer space and aliens. Naturally, it mirrored that of the acclaimed Dcom original, Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century. If you missed this super awesome movie when you were 10 years old, here's the link to Protozoa's hit classic, Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, or if you want to watch the whole movie (thank goodness its online), go here. It's zedis lapidusly awesome!
January 19, 2013
I had a weird dream about my best friend Brig... that I won't share here, haha. But my other dream was that my family and I lived in Japan, and one day there was a HUGE tsunami that wrecked everything. We were scavenging through our ruined house, and tried to get into our bathroom, but there was something blocking the door. Eventually we kicked it down and found a dead japanese man in a hammock. It was pretty gross, so we were about to leave when I had the thought to go check it out, and lo and behold there was a little Japanese baby girl clutched in his arms! We pulled her out and were super happy to have this little child! So we called up the Japanese government and informed them that we wanted to adopt this child, and they said, No way, Jose, we're putting her in the crappiest orphanage that Japan has to offer, and we will come get her in the morning. So that night we decided to escape to Germany so that they couldn't take her away from us. It may or may not have involved jumping across a giant green ocean on large pieces of floating tofu, and flying over a cement wall with chicken wire at the top, like you see in prison. Once we got to Germany we all donned superhero identities and robbed a Museum. And raised a Japanese child.
January 20, 2013
I was a secret agent on a cruise to France. I was very sneaky and told the bad guy following me that the ship left at 6pm, when it actually left at 5pm! HA! He totally missed it, and I sailed away to the beautiful country! Later in the country, I was riding an over-sized bicycle being chased by the villains and totally biffed it, scraping my appendages but no breakages. My secret agent team happened to be a group of children that I was simultaneously babysitting (weird), and we were running out of food and starving so we snuck into an abandoned grocery store at night and pilfered supplies for the rest of our mission. Unfortunately we were found out, and had to shove the cashier boy out of the way so that we could scan our own groceries (for some reason, suddenly it wasn't deserted, and there was a cashier there), which was obviously 10 times faster, so that we could get away in time. On our escape, they caught up with us and captured us, but that is when I woke up. The next day I totally biffed it in real life on the ice... premonition.
January 21, 2013
This was an awesome dream!! After months of trying to convince my family, they finally agreed to take a family trip to Uganda!! I was so stoked! We got to the Entebbe Airport, which strangely looked like Grapevine Mills, the mall that I grew up going to, and ate some McDonald's (there are no McDonald's in Uganda in real life, btw). Then we trekked through the jungle where I showed them all the cool places I lived while I was there! On our taxi ride to church we were chased by a pack of wild dogs, but luckily we drove fast and ran into a shelter on stilts that we climbed up into until the dogs went away. Then we ate some pineapple (Pineapple in Uganda is WAY better than Pineapple in the US, btw#2). After getting back to the village, I ran into my best friend from my childhood, Alyssa Call, who was wearing some sort of caveman dress and was hopping around on her knuckles like Tarzan, building a house out of bamboo. This seemed natural enough to me in the dream, so I helped her out. And then her little sister came and bit me. (This is something that always happened in real life- Alyssa's sister liked to bite. I called her jaws.) But mostly, I just went and relieved the best 6 weeks of my life in the place that is so close to my soul!! Uganda!!
January 22, 2013
Today (the 23rd) I had to teach a resume workshop for my job, and I was pretty nervous about it, so naturally, I dreamed about work. I was driving the IT minivan around in the snow- a recurring theme in my dream, is that whenever I am driving, my breaks NEVER work. Its always like I'm driving on ice, and I glide around. It is super freaky- trying to get to a work meeting. I remember being really happy, because I was able to park in the service vehicle spot which was freaking awesome. The meeting was underground and we were all sitting on beanbags. It was really cool- and the sorting hat was there. Above ground was my house, which they were re-modeling to be geometrically circular and neon-colored. I didn't really like it. I also had the ability apparate and disapparate (Harry Potter), but only while I was on a certain portal point. At some point there was a blizzard/tornado and I had to get to my elementary school to meet with my former 5th grade teacher because I was in an alternate universe, and I needed to get back, via the children's books that my teacher wrote. I was driving the IT van back to the school through the blizzard/tornado and cars were flying all around me and their doors were being ripped off. I finally made it and accessed the classroom through one of those eye scanner things, found the books on the shelf, and then the characters within came to life, and I was automatically in a different cartoon-world. Like toontown at disney world. Then it just got super bizarre... I was flying, or using a jetpack... Don't really remember...
February 2nd, 2013
I was in the Urgent Care center yesterday and got put on some weird drugs, so I blame that on the insane dreams I had last night.
My first dream is that I was on this like reality TV show that was all about learning how to do hand-to-hand combat. Except nobody got like "kicked off the island." Instead every week, someone DIED. You basically got trained by this long-haired hippie guy whose family got killed by ninjas when he was a child, so he devoted his life to learning the art of warfare and then decided to force people onto his TV show to be the "ultimate warrior" or whatever. It was super scary. Throughout the week, you just got trained by this guy and then every Thursday there was basically this exercise where everyone was given a weapon and then put in different parts of this dark maze-like structure and then as soon as someone killed someone else the game was over, and it just repeated itself week after week. It was like the real life version of Agatha Christie's 10 Little Indians (Which I read in 6th grade and also gave me nightmares). And then one time we were all having a group breakfast together catered by this hibachi sushi ninja cook guy, and it was really gross. Somehow I escaped, but then got roped into ANOTHER reality TV show (did I mention I hate reality TV shows?) where everyone was put into groups of four and the game of the week was that you had to dive to the bottom of a swimming pool to grab an assortment of objects, and the group who got the most objects won. But on our team it was me, one of my co-workers Michael Jeppessen, a mentally handicapped guy I went to elementary school with and this random goth girl who refused to get wet. So we were pretty disadvantaged haha. And we lost. But the creators of the TV show kind of recognized that it was kind of unfair, so they gave us a prize, which was that they sold all of the objects that we had fished out of the bottom of the pool, sold them, and bought a one-dose cure for cancer, and then brought this boy from Zimbabwe who had cancer, and they let us feed this cure to him, which was really cool in the dream and everyone was crying and emotional, but it was obviously really bizarre. After I woke up and was contemplating this part of the dream, I wondered... What if there was a reality TV show-type class at BYU? So like the class would start out with 14 students, and every week one of them would get kicked out of the class, and the week they got kicked out corresponded to the letter grade they got; so the winner would get an A, the runner up would get an A-, B+, B, etc etc. Kind of weird concept, but I think it would actually be really cool, except for the fact that half of the class pretty much fails the class. Oh well.
And then I was going to school at a really over-sized BYU, and me and Brig and Aaron were in this weird sewing-costume-class together, and Brig and Aaron both made each other sweaters for the class and then tried them on while I took pictures, and Brig was modeling** it off in the same seductive way that he acts out females when we play "Time's Up" together. Some girl made me a sweater and it had holes** all over it so it was awkward to wear. And the instructor of the class was borderline gay. Go figure. I remember randomly dropping one of my classes and enrolling in some random geography class, and when I walked in I happened to know every single person in the class. But they were all people I knew from different places in my life. Brig, Aaron, this one random guy I sort of dated freshman year, Alyssa Call, this one girl my best friend dated in high school to make me jealous, etc etc. And I had to ride a trolley to all of my classes. And then BYU turned into outer space, and everyone had weird sailor- moon / star wars powers and were shooting each other with laser guns.
Third dream, one of my best friends from Washington, Whitney, was getting married (which is ironic, because she's getting married this next weekend), in a giant field, and I was babysitting children** / working on my sewing projects from my 2nd dream, and her wedding colors were like lime green and periwinkle, so my mom made me this really obnoxious colored lime green sparkly dress that I had to wear to it. And the entire family from the cosby show was there at the wedding... I remember that during the middle of it I realized that I had a staff meeting for work that I had to go to, but then I didn't actually have to because it was President's Day weekend and there was no work. So I missed the actual wedding part of the wedding coming and going to the nonexistent meeting. And then somehow I was in charge of a bunch of miners who were drilling rocks on this giant cliff. And there was a lightning storm that broke pieces of rock off and fell down the cliff and crushed a bunch of people. And then I was a superhero and there were 3 other superheros with me that were going from job interview to job interview, but we didn't know we were all applying for the same jobs, so we got really mad at each other for ruining each others' chances of getting the job. I don't know exactly what went down but there was a lot of really bizarre stuff. But yeah. super weird. Its always interesting taking drugs when you sleep! Your dreams are insane!!
The point is... I have weird dreams. That is all. Go watch Zenon, its awesome.
