Certain of Uncertainties

I feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis.

I'm having all these doubts about the direction my life is going. My major, my decision to come back home this summer, my plans to go to Uganda, pretty much everything. It's like there's this voice in my head going, "Woah. you REALLY screwed up, didn't you? HA!" Not really sure why. Maybe because everything in the past month or so hasn't gone the way I'd hoped, or even the way I thought it would. Or maybe... maybe its because its Friday the 13th. Huh... I hadn't thought of that. Either way, I've been freaking out the past few days about it all. And it made me think about this kid in my freshman ward, whose little brother died of cancer during the first semester. He always shared this scripture with us, it was “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Tim. 1:6–7.) I know that I've prayed about the decisions that I've made in my life thus far, and I have felt like its the right thing to do. I think I just need a reminder sometimes that even though I can't find a single job to hire me in 4 cities and 2 counties, I got my heart broken and sometimes still cry about it, fundraising for Uganda isn't actually working out, and the dogs I am "pet-watching" pooped all over the floor and I barfed in the process of cleaning it up, Heavenly Father is still watchin out for me and guiding my life. And I just need to have faith in that. And probably go running a little more. And maybe even do my homework. And it might be a good idea to go to bed and stop watching how to train your dragon...

Birds of a feather...

Firstly, the birds, the birds! I thought it was going to be a wasteland of grackles and ravens. No, no, no! so many different colors. I'm hoping to see a painted bunting soon, they're red and blue, and yellow, and green! ahhh geez!! These are a few of the ones I've seen so far.
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The first is a northern mockingbird, the state bird of Texas, of course. The second is a blue jay. BEAUTIFUL. and third is a northern cardinal. I've been seeing these birds since i was like 7 or 8. When I was 8 i got this book for christmas that helped you to memorize all the states and their state capitols. I learned that 7 states have the cardinal as their state bird. SEVEN. so cool. I used to have them all memorized... My grandpa used to call for my birthday, and i'd be like "GRANDPA. did you know that 7 states have the cardinal for their state bird?!" "Well that's cool elise... are you playing any sports?"

My friend Heather got married this weekend. Way cute wedding, way cute reception, way cute couple. Whenever we go to a reception my mom is always looking for ideas... typical haha. It's so weird... to have her married. We've been friends since 7th grade, and she's the first of my grade to get married. I've had several friends to get married, from my freshman ward and seattle, but none from my hometown. This was strange. Part of me is like, "ahhh this is too scary for me! I never want to get married!" And the other half of me is, "They look so happy and in love! And they don't have to go through the painful process of dating for the REST OF THEIR LIFE!!" How wonderful that must be! Dating SUCKS! haha! But I obviously will wait, because its better to wait awhile for the right one then to settle for, for lack of a better word, the "not-right-one" just to get dating over with. But they are happily wed, and I hope that they just have joy in their marriage!

Lys came down to flo mo, and it was fun to see her. Her and her roommates, Ashley & Wesley, and one of Heather's friends from NJ and I went to THE flower mound, and "hiked" it. (It's only 50 feet tall). Then we went to grapevine mills to the texas memorabilia store to find... well, memorabilia. bought some postcards for the roomies, and a special present for kris, which i cannot say because its a surprise and i havent sent it to her yet. BUT, It is GREAT. Then I got a harry potter keychain. the end.

Life has been pretty chill. I'm starting to get interview for jobs, I sent off all my fundraising letters for Uganda, and I started some sewing projects. I'm taking an online nutrition class, but still haven't gotten the textbook from Kris yet... (AND SINCE, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT READS THIS, KRISTA, I CAN JUST RAT ON YOU ALL I WANT!!) (that reminds me, i need to go read your blog...)

Anyway, I am realizing that I am just rambling, which means that I probably have something better to do with my time. So.... yeah bye.