Preschool-isms

I'm taking a class, SFL 222, which has you working about 12 hours a week in the BYU preschools. Its SO time consuming, but you get a free snack every day and the kids make you laugh, so semi-worth it. Here's a couple of cute things I've heard in the past couple of weeks (I want to be a mom!)

-"Teacher. I have a riddle that you'll NEVER guess."

"Ok Megan, what is it?"

"What do you get... when you cross a "chicken-hen" a dinosaur, a basket of peaches, a t-shirt, and a box of crackers?"

"No idea Megan... what is it?"

"HA.... I KNEW you'd never guess it."

(there was no answer...)

-We're in the "home center" and there are 2 phones. Gavin goes to pick up a phone and says, "I'm going to talk on the phone now." Up until that point, "I'm talking on the phone now" is a cue for me to pick up the other phone and talk to them. So I go to pick up the other phone.

"You can't use that!"

"Why not, Gavin?"

"Those are only for people. Only people can use those."
"...Uh I'm a person?"

"No you're not! You're not human! You have to be 65 to use it!"

"You're 4 years old!"
"I'M PRETENDING TO BE A GRANDPA!!"

Megan takes me to the sandbox to show me how she can bury a ball that has a string attached to it, and then pull the string to un-bury the ball. (This is called: magic.)

"TEACHER. LOOK WHAT I FOUND"

"What is it?"

"IT'S A MAGICAL SEED!" (holds up a rock)

"Woah cool! What does it grow into?"

(shrugs) "Just a castle..."

During my interactive literature activity (the "big" project of the term that we have to do) I'm reading a book to the class called "Growing Vegetable Soup." In the middle of the story, Megan raises her hand and makes a comment. Usually I try to ignore these so that we can keep on task, but I was intrigued by what she had to say (since she usually makes the funniest comments), so I let her continue.
"Teacher! I know how to say broccoli in Spanish!"

"Ok Megan, what is it?"

"It's brock-o-lock-o-lock-o-lock-o-lock-oli!"

Megan walks up to me with a brown piece of construction paper with pipe cleaners sticking out the sides of it.

Megan: "Teacher! Read this!"

(Looks at random scribbles)
Elise: "Uhh... it says 'I love to eat food'"

Megan: "NO TEACHER. It says 'I love my friends!'"

I walked up to Megan playing in the sandpit picking up rocks and putting them into a plastic container.

"Megan, what are you doing?"
"I'm collecting rocks to make music so that I can make people's lives easier..."

"Megan, tell me a story!"

"Ok, here's a really good one I thought up of. Once upon a time there was a chicken who was glued to a door.... I don't really want to tell you the rest because there's underwear in it."

"I still want to hear it!"
"Ok, so there's a chicken glued to the door, and he kept trying to open the door with his wings, but he couldn't because he was glued SO TIGHTLY!! And then, he had to lay some eggs. So he just laid them in his underwear!"

Megan: "I JUST LOVE FAT PEOPLE SO MUCH!!"

I was going to the bathroom, and the lock was broken, so a teacher and a boy opened the door only to find me exposed. All of a sudden, the little boy just starts screaming the most horrifyingly blood curdling scream I have ever heard... and I just started cracking up at his reaction... Didn't know I was so scary half naked.

I was walking out to recess and all the kids are running around screaming "LOST SCOOTER! LOST SCOOTER!" So I ask one of them what was going on, and they said that Adam had told everyone that he stole a scooter and buried it somewhere, so all the kids were going crazy, looking for clues as to where it was. They were picking up pieces of garbage, leaves, and wood chips and gathering them at one of the picnic tables to examine for evidence. Megan came up to me and said, "Teacher would you like to help me find mysterious objects?" So we started digging in the sandbox for "mysterious objects" and I just kind of found this wood chip and I'm like, "MEGAN! IT'S A CLUE! WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!"

"I know what it means!"

She held it close to her face and squinted her eyes at it.

"There's a message written in invisible ink that only SPIES can read. It says "Dear Megan, I wonder when you will find the lost scooter. Love, An old friend.... I KNOW WHO THAT OLD FRIEND IS!!"

"Who is it?"

"I'll whisper it in your ear"

She leaned VERY close to my ear and whispered it, but it just felt like she was blowing air in my ear and it really tickled. I had her do it twice until I finally figured out what she was saying: 'Wizard Wamu'

"Who's Wizard Wamu?"

"DON'T YOU KNOW WHO WIZARD WAMU IS?!?"

and she ran off.

At snack, I was lifting my legs up underneath the table and making it shake and yelling "EARTHQUAKE!" Adam was like, "no... you're doing that!" "No I'm not!" "Yes you are!"

He then started to lift the table up, but couldn't quite do it, so I helped him secretly by lifting my legs up.

"Adam! You are so strong!"

"Yeah I know. I can lift this table up all by myself... (and with a serious face)... and throw it at your FACE."

This isn't the preschool... This is at Krista's sister's house in Monroe.

We were playing a game where I was the bad guy and I fell asleep, and the kids would come wake me up, and then I would chase them, put them in jail, and then fall back asleep, where they would then escape and wake me up again. Anway, after probably 4-5 rounds of this, I got a little tired of it and suggested playing another game.

Elise: "Let's play another game!"
Brooke: "No! We love this game!"

Viana: "But you're the perfect old hag!!"

Elise: "What?"

Viana: "... That means witch."

Viana: "Ok, pretend my name's Lilah"

Brooke: "I'm Sarah!"

Ram: "I'm Batman! ... I mean Snow White!"

Charly-Ann: O.O

.... more to come